skipped uni yday, didn't go for a one hour tute. no uni today since lec finished. not going uni tmr, even though i have 2 hours of lec.

wow, i am panicking. already.

it's ridiculous. taking one hour to do one question, when the exam is only 2 hours. or doing a paper in 4 hours instead of two. and then not doing stuff without answers ): nothing is sinking in D= having a dance concert smack bam in the middle of finals doesn't help either. the worst thing is that i'm close to failing my subjects (well i'm not the only one), but the reality of repeating first year is frightening.

even though i'm Christian, it's just sometimes so hard not to be jealous. i guess it's part of human nature. especially with those stuff that "money can't buy". like all those people who can talk over others, or know what to say when put on the spot. and those people who can make an awkward situation not awkward. and those who have a social life yet can still understand everything and not study so much.

or that kid whose 5 who's dad bought him an apartment in the city, or the uni student whose parents bought her a 1+million house. like i will have to make my own, long, arduous way. you can tell quite a few of my parents will buy/have bought their children houses already.

i just have to focus on the bigger picture, and remember all things here are only temporary.