Saturday, December 8, 2018

End of an Era

I made it! ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽˆ๐ŸŽŠ Actually tears of happiness, from both my parents and myself.

Ended up only with just one supp, not 2 or more. Thanks goodness didn't have to re-do thera since there were harder examiners, and I guess that 5% chance came true. The supp I did was a bit different, but had 30mins instead of 20mins like thera. Longest exam period of 4.5 weeks. Feels so weird not to be eating breakfast/lunch/dinner with a side of reading notes. Haven't even watched tv for over 2 months lol.

Shoutout to BW for literally pulling me through. Making me meals three times a day, driving to and from exams, extra treats/study food, and just making me not insane. Still had my crazy stressful moments, but would've been even more stressed without you, and reminding me that exams aren't the end of the world, and better things are still to come.

Moved back home a few days ago, so it doesn't even feel like I'm in Sydney/home much at all this trip. Haven't tidied up stuff much from America...

Off to Europe tomorrow for a proper grad trip (unlike last time was spontaneous). Apart from America where people chipped in to help plan, this is the first ever overseas trip with fam that I have not finished planning. I guess America taught me to plan on the go, and at airports whilst waiting to check in. Sorry not sorry for all the spam to come. I've lost count how many planes I've flown this year. First time catching a 6am flight though. Doesn't help I've been sleeping at 2am since exams finished a few days ago. I don't feel as excited this trip compared to other trips...Probably it's just a shock that I don't have any study to do for a while, and my body isn't used to not sitting at a desk and studying.

Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!




Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Almost There...

Got results for 2/3 subjects yesterday, so one more to go. Ahh, so close yet so far...I guess today's oral exam I think I gave the wrong management, but I guess I didn't 'kill the patient' unlike in therapeutics where you may...I would much rather this supp than thera supp though. Didn't realise quite a few ppl had my supp as well...

I don't feel like I'm finished until I officially pass. I would be so sad if I said something wrong, which weighted this exam and made me fail. Like this exam doesn't really go towards marks, since the 'U' was from ACO, and in the end, your clinic marks are from the grade/number they gave you. So this exam is sort of like get over 50%, but also just a hurdle? It's still a bit dodge, since whatever mark I get from 50-100 doesn't make a difference. It's still weird how some ppl who didn't fill the minimum required quotas don't get a supp. Like what I got wasn't a required quota unlike other ppl...oh well, just have hope they don't make me fail...it would be like Dec 2016 de ja vu...At least I didn't get a thera supp since I think I would die...Pls give me an extra written assignment if I was close to passing today...

My heart cannot deal with the suspense. 4.5 weeks of study, longest study period ever. My hormone levels have been so screwed up, that my hands are dying and itching and inflamed. Thank goodness only vivas and not written exams...

Just over half the grade has a supp for something, some people have 2 or more supp exams, while the smaller half who didn't get a supp passed everything

Time to plan since only have 2 days to plan for 1 month worth of stuff. Strangely not in the mood even though I love holiday planning...

Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Not over yet ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜”

5+ years of exams and study all into 20mins. They literally only test you on 1% of the things you study. 3+ weeks of continuous study, now an extra week of study. Longest exam period ever at 4.5 weeks. Longest year ever starting at beginning of Jan and ended  beginning of Dec.

The pressure is way too high. Yesterday I was 90% sure I'll get a supp, now today I'm 95% sure I'll get a supp, since although I didn't 'kill the px', I didn't mention stuff that would 'kill the px' and didn't finish the cases in time. Sighhhh, why do I mind blank? Also saying I don't know doesn't help either.

I sort of knew I would get a supp from ACO since I had a U for something which I would only conduct on 3 px since they're all old there, which meant >20% U, even though in actual clinic I met all the quotas, and didn't get U's in over 20%. Sucks how they put more weighting on ACO since all the external supervisors are all varied some are nicer or mark you more harshly. So another week of study it is. I just don't know how I'm going to re study the major oral exams next week plus the other one. 

So from supposedly one final oral exam, to one clinic thing turned into an oral exam, plus 95% certain supp from yday, means total of 3 final exams. It's too much. 5% chance hoping I won't see my number come up on Friday, but then by Friday morning, my hope would've decreased to 0.5%. I'm just thinking next year would be trimesters, which would also ruin January plans, since I would have to repeat internals during Jan. Pretty much repeating a second time would be 'I die internally 2.0.' Maybe I'll be thrown a lifeline like my friend who was lucky enough (unlike me and 10+ others in 4th yr sem 2 2016) to either be close to passing/ still fail the orals twice, but just did a further assignment to pass....Doubt it, knowing how unlucky I am. All the supps I've gotten in the past were weird practical exams that irl no one has access to (well probably only 1% of optometrist in Aus).

I guess back to study now. No point complaining about sub par performances. 
  

Saturday, November 3, 2018

Last Day of Uni Ever! (hopefully)

Finally finished my last day of uni! Hopefully I actually study hard and pass orals to actually graduate . It's actually bittersweet since it feels like this day wouldn't come. It still feels like another 6-6.30am wakeup, and another day of 6.30-7pm returning home, before seeing more patients (for free/gaining experience etc). It still feels like I have another assignment or report or reflection due, another log book to fill in, another entry to log into our excel sheets. Another morning of rushing for breakfasts, Mum's sandwiches and recently BW's wraps for lunch, then back home for home cooked dinners to save time and money (and health).

I still don't know what's the best way to attach the exam. I guess really just know everything, and keep saying it (and hope I don't lose my voice).

It's been nice going out and chilling with friends as a uni student, and really just enjoying weekends, since I will never have weekends anymore (until I retire lol). Probs won't see a lot of these people, ever, unless at CPD events or in passing. Each weekend I have something on, so won't actually be fully studying...guess sometimes it's good to take a break from study. I'm just worried since I haven't used my brain in so long...

So glad I wasn't at uni today to deal with drama and people who rock up to uni 1hr late. Although first time trekking so south down to Caringbah...They never imposed the 'be late 2 times after 8.30am and you'll get kicked out' rule. Consistently, 2 people in our group always rocked up minimum 30mins late. Today, someone rocked up 1.5hr late, and since I normally get there on time, I would have to pick up their phone calls and take their patients just because they didn't make an effort to wake up early. I mean, it's hard for everyone to wake up early. This week, I literally slammed the table when a person thought they could rock up after 9am each day, not to mention she also went home during the day and got back after her patient arrive. From subtle, to passive aggressive, to aggressive.

Praying to have the focus to study and pass this last exam.

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

5 weeks to go until I'm free. Well, realistically 6 weeks since I'll probably get a supp. I mean, I only know of one person previously who has never sat a supp before. Almost everyone in optom has sat a supp for either something stupid, generally were sick, or they were nice enough to give a second chance.

The stress is kicking in (who am I kidding, it kicked in years ago). Sometimes I don't know how I passed the really heavy content courses like therapeutics or disease (still slightly salty about that one particular lecturer who everyone still hates even now from the lower grades who teaches almost useless stuff...)

I wish my brain could focus. It's been so long since I've used my brain for memorising stuff...what's worse is when you never understood some concepts back in 3rd year, or forgot all your anatomy from 2nd year, or simple biology stuff in 1st year...

Today the people forgot to roster me on to see a patient, so ended up trying to study, but ahh, it's just so overwhelming. Like where to begin. I feel like I'm going to freak for another week before I can try to study/finish off my notes and reports.

Sunday, October 21, 2018

Centre Week 4

I can't believe I survived a month of CFEH, from 8.30 starts to 5-7.30pm finishes 5 days a week. Surviving doing so many visual fields...It does help to live temporarily at Epping, so I can get to uni in about 1hr in the morning, and about 1.5hr back home, so no need to stress about buses, and traffic on the motorway and car accidents and running for buses. Thanks BW for making food for me, truly appreciate your help.

I still feel like I'm not learning as much as I should be at Centre. See interesting pathology, but after NYC, the pathology isn't as crazy here in Sydney lol.

Almost finished writing my reports now. So stressed since only 5 weeks left until orals, and no idea how to memorise 5 years worth of content. Like as some stage I guess I memorised it, but I feel like the older I get, the poorer my memory becomes, so I don't even remember the basics, which is really bad. I guess the scariest thing is if you do miss something irl and you do end up killing a patient (surprise, surprise, the eyes are linked to your brain and blood vessels, so anything in the body can affect your eyes, hence a 5 year degree...)

Can't believe tomorrow is my unofficial last day of work. It's been 5 years, and I even made it to the list of people who've worked there for 5 years at the back of the work magazine lol. I feel like the next 5 years would also fly by. It's slow and quick at the same time.

Stress is getting real. I'm just overwhelmed as to where to start studying, let alone even start memorising. That sick feeling in your stomach of failing....I guess I have to remind myself, no matter the outcome, it'll be ok.

Sunday, October 14, 2018

EyeBall 2018

I can't believe it's already half way through my last rotation. Only 3 weeks to go before 3 weeks to cram for 5+ years of knowledge. Help. EyeBall was three weeks ago, but CFEH has been so draining with at least 8.30-5 everyday. Or sometimes say behind till after 6. Even though you're sitting there sometimes doing nothing is tiring. Also somehow squeezed time to visit a rotating restaurant at O Bar and Dining, and going up Sydney Tower. Not enough time to upload photos. Haven't even gone through my America photos yet...

Decided to still do this post, since did it for all the other EyeBalls. This year a person in the cohort pretty much single handedly did all the deco, and it was definitely lit for the theme 'A Starry Night'. There were like lit up fake cherry blossom trees, branches, and a massive Eyeball sign. Held at the Hilton this year, so fancy again. If we didn't have sponsors, the tickets would've cost so much (at $100 each they're still not cheap). There was one photographer who actually took decent pics (well not overly exposed), but the photobooth this year was pretty bad. Photos weren't focused at all, hence I think that's why they never uploaded the photoboooth pics, but I don't mind. I like the instant printouts.


Table

menu

Food was pretty nice (I think at this rate I have over 20 places to blog about in Sydney, and let's not get started about NYC, Melbourne etc where I had 6 meals a day...) Yeah, the food blogs and insta posts can continue after I graduate. Probs only rant here on random things in the next few weeks. I don't even have time to review this food lol. They only had one choice of dessert, would've been nice to have 2, but maybe they compromised that to choose more expensive entrees or mains..





not your traditional creme brรปlรฉe 

snap chat filter

BW finally debuts on my blog (after over a year lol)

One of my fav photos of us. Thanks for accompanying me this year (and driving me after I had over 4 glasses...) It's different this year since no going with the usual optom crew, but going with this one was super special. Thanks for all you do for me, and also letting me crash at your place to save about 45min-1hr of bus commutes. Much appreciation and thanks. So lucky to have you in my life. 

No time for food adventures since here on in it's all writing reports/preparing to be grilled and trying to squeeze study in.