Party-Behind the Scenes

so just before i post about the actual night...needed to just get this out...

i originally wasn't going to hold a 21st, and was just going to save it up for travelling. events like this isn't cheap, i'll just say a few thousands...but since some of my relatives were going to come over, i decided to hold one anyway for the memories :)

i've always wanted to hold something at The Grounds because i love their food and atmosphere (although i'm told the food there isn't as great anymore). however, that was way out of my budget, at least $10k for the indoor one, and at min $20k for outdoor exclusive hire. the outdoor daytime patio was reasonably priced, but a pax of 30. well, they are currently renovating so that location wasn't an option.

also wanted a place with decent food. i wanted people not feel bad for having to pay for present/cake/dinner, rather just have a good time. didn't want a kind of dinner w/ cheaper asian food...wanted a canapé style event, but not too fancy and more on the small side.

emailed/researched a few other places, and each place was so, so expensive. around $100pp. nice weddings these days cost $200pp, decent $150, and ok/cheap are about $100, but i wasn't going to spend that much when i wasn't even planning to hold an event in the first place.

so finally i settled on Haven Cafe. again, they charge for pp.

deciding who to invite would always be tricky because i don't have many friends, but once you invite friends you sometimes only talk to, then you have to invite everyone. i wasn't going to invite church people, but ended up inviting some. also, some people commented about how there were no guys invited lel. i have no guy friends #foreveralone. no but if i just invite 1/2, it'll be awkward for them (apart from those plus ones), so then i would have had to invite a whole bunch, and the number of people would just blow my budget since in terms of family/relo there are at least 10 of us...so even though some invited me before, i couldn't invite them back ):

which brings me to the main rant. invited people even though they didn't invite me to their 21st. then other's who didn't hold a 21st yet i still invited them. then 2 hours before the event, they're like 'oh, dad's coming back from overseas, soz can't come' or 'something came up tonight-can't come'. whatttttt. as if you didn't know your dad was coming back that date. why did you tell me you're coming then not come. the place is charging me pp. then there was someone who had a reasonable issue the night before, and someone who really wanted to come but bf's mum got sick...but those other last minute ones...really shows how even Christians can be 'two-faced'. does stuff at church, but then don't have the common courtesy to even give advanced notice, or doesn't want to come so they don't have to bring a gift. like you went on a month trip to europe and gave gifts to other people in front of me without acknowledging me

even those who came empty handed...yeah, i did risk asking people for a monetary gift for something in a few months...but even if you didn't contribute, at least a card would be nice. sometime there parents may feel that we owe them something 10yrs ago and they feel that no giving something back repays it. yes, church/some people are complicated. ended up having 5 people i counted for not coming...which is almost the equivalent amount of my birthday cake wasted...hence the extra food...so if i had known those 2 people (whom i've known since i was a toddler) never had the intention of coming, then i could have invited more guys...

only invited them since mum told me to...but i regret not inviting others, which now post-event, people are holding a grudge on you since you didn't invite them even though we kind of talk, or i've asked them for favours before, and people secretly hate on you for not inviting them...

yes, that's one of the main reason why i didn't want to hold an event apart from the money side, people distancing them from you if you didn't invite them. 

i should have been like another friend who boldly stated that the place is charging pp, so click if you're going (or else i feel that if you don't go, you'll have to pay up)

but i'm thankful that i still have friends that i can rely on (and don't judge me if i ask for stuff)

sorry, that was bubbling inside my head for the past 2 weeks (along with diseases).