Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Not over yet 😭😔

5+ years of exams and study all into 20mins. They literally only test you on 1% of the things you study. 3+ weeks of continuous study, now an extra week of study. Longest exam period ever at 4.5 weeks. Longest year ever starting at beginning of Jan and ended  beginning of Dec.

The pressure is way too high. Yesterday I was 90% sure I'll get a supp, now today I'm 95% sure I'll get a supp, since although I didn't 'kill the px', I didn't mention stuff that would 'kill the px' and didn't finish the cases in time. Sighhhh, why do I mind blank? Also saying I don't know doesn't help either.

I sort of knew I would get a supp from ACO since I had a U for something which I would only conduct on 3 px since they're all old there, which meant >20% U, even though in actual clinic I met all the quotas, and didn't get U's in over 20%. Sucks how they put more weighting on ACO since all the external supervisors are all varied some are nicer or mark you more harshly. So another week of study it is. I just don't know how I'm going to re study the major oral exams next week plus the other one. 

So from supposedly one final oral exam, to one clinic thing turned into an oral exam, plus 95% certain supp from yday, means total of 3 final exams. It's too much. 5% chance hoping I won't see my number come up on Friday, but then by Friday morning, my hope would've decreased to 0.5%. I'm just thinking next year would be trimesters, which would also ruin January plans, since I would have to repeat internals during Jan. Pretty much repeating a second time would be 'I die internally 2.0.' Maybe I'll be thrown a lifeline like my friend who was lucky enough (unlike me and 10+ others in 4th yr sem 2 2016) to either be close to passing/ still fail the orals twice, but just did a further assignment to pass....Doubt it, knowing how unlucky I am. All the supps I've gotten in the past were weird practical exams that irl no one has access to (well probably only 1% of optometrist in Aus).

I guess back to study now. No point complaining about sub par performances. 

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