#300. Unhappy

i don't know where to start.
i did crap, bad, horrible.

well 3U: it's quite intimidating with the maths head teacher over your desk looking at your stopwatch. he was probably secretly shaking his head since he saw i couldn't do the induction. both of them!!!! ))))))))))))))))): i did over 20+ inductions like the night before, and i still couldn't do it. ):

my brain doesn't work in exam conditions. maybe i should start doing hw in exam conditions. like, my brain literally just blanks.

during 2U reading time, i was like: oh, this is actually do-able, maybe i can get 90%. reading time=false hope. fully screwed it. i got all these random fractions for my a's and d's and all my answers were wrong ): know i am going to get a bogan maths mark and my rank is going to be more horrible than what it was...

and i am the type of person who falls into the trap of trick questions. physics: time wasn't an issue, except i didn't know answers to some of them )))))))): and question 4. afbhdfdskahfdkja can't frikken believe i got tricked/didn't read the questions properly. and then, i think i forgot all the key words in my answers ):

and English. the question wasn't hard so that means everyone is going to do good and average will be high and i have a higher chance of being under average....my hand dies after one essay. in about 7 months time, i will have to write 3 essays non-stop, annnd memorise them.....it takes me like a day to memorise an essay....

Jap: can someone please tell me how to study for it? everytime before some jap thing, i only look at stuff the night before. i wish i could improve my listening. maybe i should have watched jap dramas back in yr9/10 to improve listening....

so, my mum was talking to someone else's mum, and he said his son, who was smart but had 2 fish oils everyday and now is supppppper smart. i think i should start having fish oils to improve my veryveryvery slow brain.
i can't stop thinking that i am going to get a bogan atar and a bogan chem mark and that all the tutoring money will go to waste ))))):

i am going to study super hard in the hols (well i will try)

also, supppppper said that Happy Apple's party is on the same day as dad's work dinner )))): i wish i could go to both....but it's kind of impossible....

and i watched the whole episode of sytycd today. wow, i want to try and walk in Gaga's shoes......now i actually have time to read Inheritance before i read eng ext which i was supposed to finish a month ago and before i do my viva voce which is on wed...actually i think i should properly re-do it since i did my first draft just for the sake of handing something in.....now time to read and think of something substantial....

still super upset. i don't fell relief these days after exams.....i think i study hard, but obviously my marks tell me otherwise. maybe i should swap fb pw with my bro. i did that last year for sc.... but not for yr11/12 :/

)))))): i think i should go re-study for what i have studied this week. i need to study a month before for my exams, i think.

oh, and this girl from ruse said the guy whose coming first in jap at ruse carries a grammer dictionary wherever he goes lololol....which makes me think, do ruse people carry maths textbooks whereever they are?
maybe i should do that to somehow absorb the textbook knowledge...

but i know i will have to study hard. oh, also, i didn't even need to charge my phone the whole week since i'm so anti-social and i don't have to call my mum to pick me up from places. the convenience of having your P's

and congrats for reading up to here. this is the place where i rant about my ))))))))))))))))))))): hopefully half-yearly, term 2 assessments and trials will have a bit of (: and hsc will be (((((((((((((:
i think that will be my goal.
and also to be above average for everything. i know i am not the type 99.95, actually i knew even when i started high school that i wouldn't have a 100UAI because i have a slow brain....