Quarter Life Crisis

Quarter life crisis is a real thing, well for me anyway. If you asked me would I be doing a PhD at the beginning of the year, I would say "No way". But if you asked me would I expect my wedding to be cancelled/post-poned or we would go through a pandemic the worst in our life time so far, I would also say no.

In short, a few months ago an opportunity came up to do further studies, so decided to try and apply for it, and surprisingly I got in. Actually, they gave me a tailored project in response to my interview questions which they didn't even advertise for the initial project for. It's a different side of optometry, and going more into social sciences, which is completely different to what I've ever known and studied in high school and uni.

I think the process to even apply for it was the "crisis" part. So many self questions. To be honest, there were so many pros and cons to weigh up. Mostly the financial side of things for doing it. Didn't get a scholarship so will be living off savings, and thankful for the support from Blair and parents. The biggest expense is rent, and I guess luckily I don't have a mortgage or any kids, so doing a PhD with no incoming money is still doable, and I can drop down from full time work. It is kind of crazy dropping from a stable full time job, and not being able to save, but it's more of a now or never opportunity. I wouldn't have the brain cells to do this in 10, 20 or 30 years later. So investment into my brain for the future. I don't hate my job, but I feel like I'm not learning enough, and it has gone to the point where it is quite repetitive, 1.5 years later, Will still be working once a week, so gonna be working 6 days a week, just like undergrad days studying 5 days a week and 1 day working. 

So defs no holidays anytime soon and won't have money for honeymoon next year (if our wedding still goes ahead), even though we got majority of our refunds back, since now the money is for living costs...Anyways, doubt we can travel anytime soon. Also won't be able to have any fancy foods for a while, but I think I may be over the whole fancy food thing, still save it for birthdays only, but my list to eat is pretty much non existent now compared to uni days.

It's so weird how I'll be going back to uni in a months time. Always thought I'll never be back at uni, but I can also see the perks of academic life as well. I'm not super keen to go into academia after I finish, would still like to practice, so we'll see.