finals haven't even begun, and i'm already facing another big possibility of repeating :'(

theory MC yday was alright, a lot more time compared to no time last time. but this prac was horrible! everything that could go wrong went wrong. it's not about achieving a good mark, for me it's just passing! it's worth very little, but i just need that over 50%....

what went wrong? so we are all paired up, and there's a sheet of who we are with for each week in the semester. so my partner and i agreed we would kill each other's dominant eye, so that during the test, we can use it and use our better hand for our preferred testing eye. apparently a person didn't turn up to the prac exam in the pair before us (what, who doesn't turn up to a prac exam, they're all hurdles!), so we ended up as a trio, and i had no prior knowledge of her whatsoever. actually, what's worse is that her left eye was dilated, and i wanted right eye, so then i had to use her left eye with my right hand, and my right hand is actually not as stable as my left, it's better at controlling the joystick thing...anyways, couldn't get a stable view, even though that's a major marking criteria D=

then for the other prac, she didn't ask my any theory so i couldn't even redeem myself. got a not-so-stable, and not big view, but i still said it was stable...and they could check since it's all hooked up to the cameras D=

well marks out next week. the really sad thing is, if i do get under 50, then there's no point for me to study for finals for my optm subj, since i won't be here for the supp.

argh, it's times like these when it's hard not to be so marks  "passing" mark focused, but to remember that in the end, none of it will matter, and that God's plan for me is set. so if i do have to repeat 2nd year, well i'm sure there's a reason, and if i do pass this semester, well there's a reason for that as well. but i just can't stop worrying and stressing.