What a roller coaster of a week last week was. This COVID-19 is probably the closest thing we can experience to a World War, in my opinion. So this post although have some #fwp, trying to be grateful in these circumstances.
My company is literally the last one standing (excluding some independent optoms). All our competition already shut their doors a week before us, for at least one month. The shops are now ghost towns (except for groceries and Kmart/Target/DJs, and a few odd shops), which is good since people are implementing social distancing, but we all thought that we would close soon. Mentally prepared but it was still a shock when they announced staff would be stood down from today, and even if your store is opened, someone may work instead of you at your base store. My store was picked to be open, and they announced I was able to stay, but my hours would be reduced by almost half. My other friends who have a month off, are either applying to Centrelink or waiting for their employers to get the JobKeeper payments, but I think that doesn't get paid until May. Hopefully my income can be subsidised by the JobKeeper initiative, because working with my reduced hours is similar pay to the government payments. I think I'm more worried about my income since starting to pay rent/my own expenses, whereas when I still lived at home, everything was paid by my parents. I'm grateful that I don't have a mortgage, because even if you pause your loan, you'll still have heaps of money to pay back later, and heading to a recession, any loans/debts are the worse things to have. Also glad I don't have any children, imagine home schooling and needing to buy things whilst losing a job. They cut all the part timers, so as a full time with hours cut, essentially I'm working part time over 4 days with reduced hours. I'm grateful that my company is large enough to still operate (without any profits) during this time, providing eye care to other essential workers. Just seeing people for eye tests pays for my own income, but wouldn't cover the other overhead costs which are required to run a business. I'm glad that I don't have my own business, and I would never consider one, way to stressful. I'm still tossing up between is it better to not work for a month, or work reduced hours and risk getting infected...Obviously I couldn't choose since the company decides, but it's good to have work to keep me sane and out of the house...I should learn to cook or exercise or help Blair with transcribing at home during this quarantine period...have a list of things to make, but knowing how lazy I am, dunno if I'll ever get around to it...Maybe on my extra day off...
I'm also glad that my partner is not an optom. I never wanted to date an optom, more because I don't want to talk about more work after work (can talk about work/share experiences) with uni friends. Now in hindsight, it worked out okay. If my partner also worked for the same optom company, and your company stands down everyone, well there would be zero income for at least a month (until the government initiatives kick in). Even more stressful if you have kids and both people lose their jobs. If different optom company, maybe one person may still have a job, but unlikely in this current situation. I'm glad that Blair works in completely different industry. It's good to still have work instead of bumming at home for a month without work. I haven't spent that much time at home since I still go outside to work (obviously can't wfh), and since the apartment is so modern, feels like a hotel/airbnb. Can't go back to parents home to get personalisation stuff in case I'm an unknown carrier and infect them...Grateful that I have somewhere to live to quarantine myself away from parents, and the views are a nice change from looking at a forest for the past 20 years. Moving out wasn't as hard as I expected, it's just been more tiring doing more house chores (tbh, didn't do much whilst studying/living at parents home), but it's quite satisfying seeing stuff clean. So haven't had heaps of spare time yet to just watch Netflix or read a book. Unrelated, groceries are so expensive these days, they say they're not price gouging, but I guess there are just less things on 'special'. It's still really hard to social distance whilst shopping, luckily the suburb I'm in, the Coles is newer and the aisles are a little bit wider than older supermarkets.
One thing which is still affecting me is postponing the wedding. It's just sooo hard not to be jealous of others (especially when social media is filled with it), of everyone pre-coronavirus, who were married on their set date, sharing their photos etc. Yes, I'm probably guilty of over sharing too, but it's just disappointing that nothing is in order. Unable to have a honeymoon after getting married or ' bridal shower' before the wedding, now we're not even sure when we'll get officially married etc. I think we decided not to do a 5 person wedding ceremony, since it doesn't feel respectful to our parents if we just link them a live stream on Zoom. Although I feel like since they announced the restrictions, I've seen some people with more than 5 people in Sydney getting married...Again, I know this is just #fwp, but in my head, I'm like, 'if only I set the date earlier...if only we got married last year...' I guess we made the best choices at that time, since mid April was supposed to be less busy for Blair and good weather in Europe (again, he's now working at 200% capacity since it takes way longer to conduct lectures and tutorials online compared to in person). I know I shouldn't want the 'ideal honeymoon' and it's inappropriate especially when so many people are dying overseas, but it's hard not to. I thought I was ok with postponing it when the government announced restrictions, but now I'm like argh, it's affecting me again. Listening to worship music helps, and a lot of the big US churches do really good live music/videos since everyone is in quarantine. I'm also grateful that our super small church is able to produce weekly Sunday live streams (check it out
here, Blair made the website, and has been tweaking it for the past 3 years). I guess although I don't officially have a husband, I am grateful that I have someone to spend not only this self iso period, but also the rest of my life time with. I think this is also God really testing me, to trust in his perfect timing and plans for me, although it feels to me everything is just out of order. I guess I do have a lifetime (God willing) to travel and experience His creation with Blair.
I'm grateful for good healthcare here in Aus. In America, people have private health insurance only if they have work, so I guess all those people who lost their jobs now don't have access to health care, since their work won't pay for it. Since the health care system is so messed up, I think that's one of the reasons why the death rate is so high for a developed country, as people don't have access to essential health services (as easily compared to Aus).
Although it wasn't 'ideal' for the Coronavirus to hit us 2020 and affect our wedding, this year was probably better(?) compared to others. I've said this before, wedding day is just one day, and it's the days/years after which are more important, and I know I shouldn't be so continually hung up and be so down about a postponed wedding. In short, it's just a fancy celebration, which can still happen, just delayed. If Coronavirus happened in 2019, I would be even more sad because it'll mean no graduation ceremony. Some people just had a certificate, and their ceremony was straight up cancelled. Obviously you can't request to have a grad ceremony, the uni decides. Since I'm the first person in my immediate family, it was really a milestone after 6 years at uni, and grateful that both my grandmas could fly over and see my graduate. If it happened in 2018, I would not be able to go to NYC/Melbourne/Hobart for placement (all the 5th yr optom placements overseas have obviously been cancelled). Overseas placement was definitely a highlight of uni, not just the fun, but experience optometry in a different country. In hindsight, despite being sad about the above, I'll rather postpone a wedding than a cancelled optom overseas placement. Spent so much money on travel overseas in 2018, back then no regrets, and now definitely no regrets having those experiences. Even if you have money, you're just not allowed to travel now, probably until 2021 imo. Also, if it hit in 2017, when I didn't pass a subject, even if they don't make Fail on transcripts for most unis/courses this semester, for optom, you'll still have to repeat it the following year, so doesn't make a difference. Also did a lot of travel in 2017/2018, so I would be disappointed if I couldn't go to those trips.
That being said, I'm glad I wasn't overseas before/during this crisis. Imagine being stuck inside a small hotel room for 14 days with microwavable meals (some rooms don't have microwaves), and just being trapped inside. Even though I generally prefer staying at home than going out, I would be crazy. Not to mention the stress to get the next available flight back to Aus, and the extra amount spent on a rare ticket back due to limited flights coming back home and price of the ticket would increase. Or if you're in a small country, where there are absolutely no planes left. Or the country you're in is completely lock down, and you can't even get to the airport, or no planes leaving that country, and then you spend the next 3 months there, and if you're visa expires, or your passport maximum stay (without visa) goes over the limit, you're screwed, and I doubt the Australian consulate there can help you much when the advise to travel was already on a level 2 or 3 (before a level 4 ban)...
I guess having my travels cancelled for a second time again since I've been working (HK protests in 2019 cancelled our HK/Japan trip), and losing money again for a second time (more this time since mostly booked hotels for 3 weeks and Europe is generally really expensive), I can always go again in the future. Maybe not in 2021 since Blair would need to look for work, but maybe 2022/2023. It'll feel like forever, but we're already in April...The first 3 months this year have flown by, but the next 3 months will be a drag since we're all social distancing. I can't wait for our sofa to come in June (again, ages away), and invite friends over once everything settles...
Tl;dr, grateful that I still have some work, place to live, good health and Blair to be by my side. Officially not my husband on paper, but in my head he's been my husband since the day we were engaged.
